The Guide to Squatting in a Coffee Shop

Posted on: 2015-07-31 12:00 AM

While we all appreciate the convenience of the local coffee shop as a place to stop and refuel in the middle of the day we sometimes forget that it's a privilege not a right.

It’s a scenario every student, at-home worker and would-be novelist in the city knows well: heading to one’s favourite café, ordering a coffee, maybe a pastry, pulling out a laptop, connecting to the café’s free Wi-Fi, and typing away until the day’s assignment is complete — hours and hours later. Some cafés, like Café Olimpico on St-Viateur St., had enough of all their tables being hogged by workers on laptops. So, about a year ago, they covered all their plugs. Turnover at the small café had become more and more of an issue over the years, explained Vincenzo Spinale, a barista at the café. Customers would take up four-person tables and plug themselves in for the day, ordering only one coffee.

He says the situation has improved since they covered the plugs. Customers can only work as long as their battery lasts — a few hours at best.

I’ve interviewed a number of café’s and the feeling is that squatters are ruining it for the rest of us. Most coffee shops that I’ve interviewed don’t mind a longer stay of up to a couple of hours. It makes the shop look busy and most people will choose a restaurant that’s busy over one that’s empty. While it’s expected in a University or College location some coffee shops are finding that people are even running home business’s out of their coffee shop. A local coffee shop told me of a financial planner who was meeting his clients in the back booth of his shop for six to seven hours a day everyday. 

When he approached the individual about it rather than engaging in a productive conversation the customer immediately took that position that he had a right to be there. The sense of entitlement that often pervades our culture is what is spoiling it for the rest of us.  In the end they agreed to part ways and business has actually improved because many of the tables that were being used up for people loitering are being used for paying customers. I guess you have to fire some of your worst customers to get ahead.
Some suggestions as a guest in a coffee shop.

It’s not your home.
If you sit at a table be as compact and tidy as possible. The number one complaint I heard was that some people spread out over multiple chairs and tables or take tables that would accommodate four people for personal use.

Library Rules Apply
When you’re meeting at a coffee shop or talking on your phone use your inside voice. If you look around and people are staring at your table while you’re on the phone it’s probably you and not them. People should not be able to hear you from more than three steps away.

Keep it rated “G”
If you are going to use the free wifi make sure that you’re mother would approve of the content. This also includes logging into your Netflix account and binge watching GoT while nursing a small coffee that cost $1.50.

Thing of that table space as rented
A good coffee shop needs about $5 per hour per table of revenue to stay afloat.  If you’re not spending $10-$15 for a three to four hour visit then you are abusing the proprietor. He may be polite to you but he doesn’t like it when he sees you.

Tidy Up After Yourself
I’ve sat in hundreds of coffee shops and watched maybe thousands of patrons leave unbelievable messes for the staff to clean up. I can’t count the number of times that I’ve seen people just get up and leave all of their scrap papers, sneezed on napkins and dirty cups on the table for the barista to clean up. I’m tempted to follow some of these people home and dump trash on their kitchen tables.